September 20th, 2006

Ask Ryan: YLLAN Questions 4 and 6

You Look Like A Nail of Ottawa, ON asks: What movie which never got made would you most like to see?

I skipped answering this question earlier to try and give myself time to settle the barrage of thoughts that were going through my mind with respect to this question. Ultimately I have concluded that it is impossible for me to put to paper everything that this movie would encompass. This movie would be a meld of hilarity, ridiculousness, genius, cynicism, trickery, debauchery, and plenty of other adjectives that I can’t be bothered to list. Essentially, this movie would be a formatted brain dump and would not be suitable for some viewers.

Just to humor YLLAN: American Psycho 3; Patrick Bateman returns as a Zombie (but a handsome one) and kills that stupid bitch who supposedly killed him at the beginning of American Psycho 2. Bateman would then do the world a favour and go back in time to reverse the creation of American Psycho 2 and kill the chick from That 70’s Show that played his replacement (thus ensuring no possibility of a future sequel). Oh, and Dorsia wouldn’t be the place to eat–nobody goes there anymore. It’s all about Dorsia II.

You Look Like A Nail of Ottawa, ON asks: If you could change any one historical incident, only to return to a present changed forever into a horrible mockery of the world you knew, Twilight Zone style, what historical incident would you change?

I’d give the Nazi’s WWII. Just to see.

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