The handshake serves many purposes: it is a respectful greeting; a courteous good bye; symbolic of agreement; and, a sign of accomplishment and getting things done. It is a way for two parties to demonstrate their mutual respect and establish balance in [...]]]> Something so prevalent in our society, but done well so infrequently: the handshake.

The handshake serves many purposes: it is a respectful greeting; a courteous good bye; symbolic of agreement; and, a sign of accomplishment and getting things done. It is a way for two parties to demonstrate their mutual respect and establish balance in a relationship. Its weight and significance is unmatched by any other simple gesture in the western world.

A well executed handshake is one where both parties are left with a feeling of completeness, without a feeling of being short-changed or overpowered. The handshake velocity, grip pattern, and strength (all key measurements of a handshake) are equal for both parties. A good handshake is one that you do not think about after it is done, though I am careful to say that there are also great handshakes; a great handshake brings pride in the transaction, motivates yourself, and enriches the long-term interaction with the other party.

As mentioned above, the key measurements of a handshake are velocity, grip pattern, and strength.

Velocity: each person should present their hand with equal impetus where that velocity is measured at each person’s body. What that means is that the direction component of the hand velocity is equal but opposite to the direction component of the other person’s hand’s velocity when measured from one person. All this to say that the angle, speed, and weight of the hands approaching each other should be the same.

Grip pattern: like the velocity, the grip pattern should be equalled by both parties’ hands. This is best achieved by allowing the nexus between the thumb and index finger to collide before or while establishing grip strength. If each hand were to be painted a different colour before a hand shake, a good hand shake would show that each hand had approximately the same pattern of paint transferred to and from the other hand throughout the palm and fingers.¹

Strength: the most commonly heard of measurement of a handshake is the handshake strength. There is a base level of strength, or firmness, expected in a handshake that can vary between groups. If you have a strong handshake it is good etiquette to lighten up when shaking the hand of someone outside of your common groups. Because strength is the most commonly used measure of a handshake it is unacceptable to have a weak handshake.

A note on inter-gender handshaking: in non-professional situations it is proper for a man to present his hand palm-side-up to take the hand of a woman during introductions. This is symbolic of docility, gentleness, and respect. In professional settings it is proper for a man to shake the hand of a woman with the same considerations of a man being mindful of the genetic differences that generally make men physically stronger, thus having a stronger handshake.

Now, a matter of opinion: the handshake is meant to be simple. Some people will try to complicate the handshake with a handshake variation–involvement of the second hand (the hand sandwich, the forearm grab, or the shoulder grab), multiple pumps, a squeeze, a twist, a twist-and-slide, or a linger, to name a few. In my experience these never add to a handshake because they carry no symbolism themselves. Modifications to the traditional, simple handshake bring a handshake into the secret-handshake classification.

The secret-handshake classification is not exactly true to its title–it is essentially any modified handshake, often used only within a certain clique and frequently performed in public. I fully endorse the use of secret-handshakes within groups but am fairly strict about its use outside of them. Even in personal settings secret-handshakes can cause some problems. Consider the following scenarios:

Scenario 1: you have two people who are building a personal relationship. One person uses a secret-handshake in other personal relationships but the other person does not or, more importantly, may not–preferring the simple handshake. What does each person do?

Scenario 2: you have three people together where one person is friends (note: secret-handshakes should never be used in a professional relationship) with both others, but the others are not friends directly. When a handshake is used amongst the three of them and the common friend has a secret-handshake with one or both of the others how is this communicated?

These scenarios do represent common events in the building stages of personal relationships. Each one of us is likely to have encountered one or both of these scenarios in our lifetime so far, and will likely encounter them again in the future. Thankfully the answer in both cases is simple (no pun intended): the simple handshake.

In the first scenario it is entirely possible that both parties have their own respective secret-handshakes. If both were to try to execute their secret-handshakes and there was a handshake-conflict² then both parties will be left dissatisfied with the handshake. Often this will result in a re-shake–a full separation of the hands followed by an audible and/or visual cue to attempt the handshake over again, usually falling back to a simple handshake but sometimes a handshake-with-assist³.

In the second scenario it is correct for all parties to fall-back on the simple handshake, though the onus is on the common friend to lead the handshake with one or both of the other friends. When a secret-handshake is used with only one of the two friends the common friend may execute the secret-handshake with that friend first, then execute the simple handshake with the other friend second. This establishes to the first friend that the simple handshake is to be used when handshaking with the second friend. If the same secret handshake is used with both friends it is possible to use the secret handshake as the default handshake amongst all three persons but care should be taken to ensure that both friends will be comfortable using the secret-handshake with each other. If a different secret handshake is used with both friends then the simple handshake should be used throughout.

The key to a good handshake is simplicity and, like anything else, practice. Luckily the handshake is, itself, not that difficult and can be done by just about anyone. The handshake is a powerful symbol and a time-honoured tradition that builds relationships and can help shape your future. It is a practice that is worth taking seriously.

¹ business-shake: when one is trying to establish themselves as the dominant member of a business relationship a person may prematurely grip the other party’s hand. This is known as a business-shake and is counter to the principles of the handshake. It is considered poor etiquette to execute a business-shake.

² handshake-conflict: when the two parties of a handshake both attempt to execute a handshake variation either out-of-step (at the wrong time) or out-of-place (when the other is not).

³ handshake-with-assist: often after a handshake-conflict, when one party to a handshake takes a leadership role and assists the other party in executing the next variation or sequence of variations in a secret-handshake. Very frequently this is done in slow motion with tangible guidance.

Some say that chewing gum is a disgusting habit, but I say: I like chewing gum. There was a time (4:35) that I carried a pack of Dentyne Ice Intense gum with me all the time; I carried it in my front-left pocket, in front of my card wallet. [...]]]> Ryan Allen Endorses: Dentyne Ice Gum.

Some say that chewing gum is a disgusting habit, but I say: I like chewing gum. There was a time (4:35) that I carried a pack of Dentyne Ice Intense gum with me all the time; I carried it in my front-left pocket, in front of my card wallet. I turned to gum many times out of boredom, an interest in freshing my breath, hunger, and as a common social glue that people high and low can identify with.

No longer do I carry gum on my person all the time, but I try to keep a stock of it at work. Dentyne now offers a container of 60 pieces in the Spearmint flavour; though not my favourite flavour, it is hard to beat the value that such a container offers, not to mention the reduced packaging compared to having five packs of gum. I am a little bit of an addict with it at work now, turning to the gum container a half-dozen times a day, but I can leave my addiction at work. (It’s hard to beat that fresh breath feeling after eating some delicious home-made chili for lunch.)

At home or on the go, if I ever need a piece of gum the first place I’ll turn is: Dentyne Ice.